Tuesday, November 16, 2010

One Screaming Parent Lord

One of my neighbors came to see me with some questions. She came to me, only because I have a child in Virtual School and her child is having big problems in public school. I told her up front "I will tell you the truth as I see it, you may not like what I say so, are you sure you want to ask me these questions?" She was in tears with frustration and said yes.

Her six year old child, a girl, is refusing to go to school. She hates her class room and her teacher. She has been corrected so many times and the parent has been to the school so many times, due to the child's behavior that now there is so much frustration the school can't handle it any more. They were placing the child in a "special" school - one with a police officer there, with firmer rules and a No Tolerance Policy for disciplinary problems.

"My child is only 6 years old she can't be that bad, she's wonderful at home". (Uh, uh, uh! I've heard it before) . I explained to her that I had worked in the school system as only a substitute and during those years had spent one year in a school for children who can't attend in the main stream public school. We had a first grader, a 6 year old there. He had gotten mad at the teacher and had picked up his wooden chair and struck her across her back. As she hit the floor he continued to pound her. Being 6 does not declare innocence.

She explained how she had been to the school so many times and the loud fights she had engaged in with the teachers and other personnel. I just listened.

The next thing I told her was "It may not be that they can't deal with your child dear, it may be that they can't deal with you, and may need to remove your child because they can't get anywhere with you". She admitted her frustration and loss of temper when it came to her child. "But there is no way she is that bad". Are you sure? I bravely asked.

I began again with:

I think the public school system is in dire need of revamping itself but that said, how did they get there? First of all, a lack of God in the schools and the homes, like everywhere else in the United States. I am certified to teach in Daycare which only means I have been instructed in what the law requires and allows when handling other peoples children. All the do's and don'ts if you will.

There are different sets of law and rules for different ages, for different abilities and for different races, example: in daycare, children who leave the 1 year old group are not allowed any longer to have a pacifier or bottle. When they begin running around the room (no more cribs) as a 2 year old there are to many bacteria to be shared amongst them with the dropping and picking up of their bee-bees and ba-bas. And each child must be potty trained before moving on to the 3 year old group.

However if the child is black you may not take their bee-bee or ba-ba away yet because it is a cultural aspect that they use theirs in many families until they are 5-6 - make that exception teacher's, keep up with it and keep it clean. If the child is Hispanic, you can't force potty training in the 2's because it's cultural that they allow their children to wear diapers/pullups until they train their selves at usually about 5-6 - keep up with that too teachers. You have white and oriental children screaming and crying for the bee-bee or ba-ba and don't understand why they can't have one anymore when other babies are allowed theirs. It does, I believe, effect them emotionally, and that is yep, the teachers problem. I spent years there and I know how terribly frustrated the teacher is as well as the child and the parent.

I had a particular 2 year old in my group of 11 that was Hispanic. The parents believed he would potty train his self when he was ready and I had to comply. This 2 year old weighed 80 pounds (I only weighed 98 then). He was as big around as he was tall, very quiet and spoke only their language. You also are required by law to change them only on the changing table. Every time I changed him (hourly or more if needed) he had to be lifted to the table, it required that 2 more employees be there to assist me in lifting him to the table and wait there to place him down again. Now the parents complain about the high cost of daycare!

Due to the lack of cooperation from parents, the loss of the right to discipline a child while in school, which I believe is due to Law Suit after Law Suit by the parents, what is the school to do! In this State it is illegal to stand a child in the corner facing the wall, the law classifies that as humiliation (ha!), it is illegal to put a child to work, raking the yards or sweeping the floors, that is classified as degradation, it is not allowed by most parents that their child receive swats or any form of physical punishment - OK, what is the school to do?

With all of these children the only recourse is one of two things, depend on the parent to discipline the child and when that doesn't work remove the child from the room. This State took on the concept 15 years ago, with their hands being tied, that they had to determine what is best for the masses (the 34 students as a whole) and "removal" of the one child to keep order/safety and education in the room for the teacher and the other 33 students is their only option.

It's not ideal but, what recourse do they have? I have 8 grandchildren, 6 of which have or are completing their education in Virtual or Home school. We are out of the public school system and I support that completely.

I wanted her to look at herself, their home life, the Christian values they are or are not instilling in their 3 children - I wanted her to see both sides.

I don't like what is going on in the public school system but like the many problems we have as a country - they will not be fixed over night.

I told her about Virtual School, about Home School and I explained to her (which she didn't know) that the parent has the right to choose what public school their child attends. Understanding that you alone are responsible for transportation, the county will not provide it to any school out of your designed district.

She has transferred her child to another public school providing the transportation herself and to date (it's only been two weeks) there has not been a problem. I really pray this works and the child receives the education that she deserves and has a right to. I really pray that the parent gets involved in a positive manor and learns to work with the school. I pray that the school system turns back to God and to the idea of loving children while educating them. The way I see it, it would have been the child's behavior, the parents behavior, the teacher and the school's behavior that festered the issues! The combination can be extremely unhealthy when all aren't doing their part. There is no one person to blame.

Big words for today's parents and schools - Cooperation and Respect

Take a moment and watch this short video, Please! Thanks (Red Skelton 1969)
click here

Monday night when I watched this it had been viewed 3,834,197 times.

Lord make us bring God back into the homes and the schools of America, make us. Amen


  1. It seems to me that the parents who cry the loudest about what angels their kids are, are the ones who have the kids who behave the worst.
    As for the schools I had no idea that there were different rules for different races. That doesn't seem quite right.

  2. Agreed Annie, it makes it very difficult for the teacher (almost impossible to keep order) and once again the State gives in to the parent and shuts them up while sacrificing what is best for the children as a group - I really can't see how the parents or schools can continue to operate in this very UNSUCCESSFUL existing system, the end result we see on the news everyday!

  3. This is so true Miawa,if parents are not doing their jobs, teachers can not be expected to put up with these unrully children. In fact, the parent's have the biggest responsinbility of all. If they are not pulling their weight, the children are doom from the beginning. This is what happens when God is not invited into our schools.
    I just also wanted to thank you for your visit and gracious comment. Have a blessed day!


to leave comment