Monday, November 3, 2008

Today is a good day

I am sitting here with a smile on my face, an unusual smile for me. As I am at the laptop I am looking out the door (it's open, the weather is beautiful) at a sight I don't often see. My pleasure is short lived no doubt but i am taking advantage of it.

My grandson Z who is 14, is sitting at the patio table with two teenage girls and they are having fun and laughing. I will probably never see that again. He just met them today and they haven't had sufficient time to dislike him yet.

It usually takes 2 - 3 days tops. Bless his heart he has AS Autism and that means that his social skills are pretty close to zero. He wants people to like him so much and goes so fast and hard at it that he runs other kids off as he runs them over.

His manors and language and sense of humor are often not acceptable and even his appearance. He wants it so bad and doctors keep telling me that it's not possible, he will never be normal. It can't be learned. What breaks my heart is seeing his heart broken because he is old enough he should know and has been taught that he is different. He wants so much to be the "popular kid in the class" or "at the bus stop" anywhere, that he has dreams about it, it will never happen. Something a lot of parents like me have a very difficult time accepting.

I know Jesus that You will see to him, I know that You will take care of us, I know that You are in control but even knowing that my faith is not strong enough. I want it fixed! You Lord have reason not to do so, You have reason for this being the way it is still. I want you to heal him, and teach him, and mold him so that other people can love him. I want what any parent figure wants.

Take over Father, do it Your way, mine isn't working. Make his life what You want it to be, I know even with Autism you have a plan and a use for him.
Nov 14 is his first check up with yet another new doctor at an Autism Clinic. A doctor to correctly diagnose his difference and the degree of it - to give him a label - so that the public school system or employers can "categorize" him.

I am tired, short on patience, not as healthy spiritually as I need to be or physically. I fall short in so many ways daily but don't let me fall short with this child Father, don't let me. I need Your strength, Your patience, Your wisdom and good health to continue this please bless me Father with each of those and Lord be with every parent raising a child in today's world and maybe a special look in on those with children who are living with Autism.

I am applying for another job near my home and Lord please bless me with this job if it is Your will, it will help in so many areas but if I need to stay home because of him or me then so be it, keep taking care of us. I know You hear me and I know You will answer. Praise You Father Amen

There are so many in my position or worse, Lord teach all that You are the way, You are going to take care of all of us if we just give it to you, teach us all. And as I pray for each of you out there please be praying for me and Z and for peace and happiness. God's will for each of you.


  1. I'm not sure why, but I was very moved by this post. Everyone wants for their children what you are asking. Wants them to be loved... befriended... accepted... never have their heart broken. I pray this for my children, and for Z as well. But know that when their heart is broken, it's our job to be there to help put it back together. To be the (only earthly) source of unconditional love for our children. I love you and Z and will pray for miraculous healing in God's time and in God's way.


  2. Thank you Taba for your comments and for you love.
    I love you too and pray for the best for you and your's.
    Aunt Nae

  3. I must agree that this was a very moving post. I can not imagine what it must be like to raise a child with autism. All I can offer is something that I was told many years ago. It is that God will never give a special needs child to anyone who can not handle it. Therefore I can only say that God must have known that YOU my friend are the special person that can help Z through his life. I will keep you and Z both in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. Thank you also Annie, I guess today I just needed contact and encouragement. Thank you too, you are a friend in Christ - Miawa

  5. I don't have any words of wisdom or even comfort to add to the other comments. God sees. God knows. God cares.

    But sometimes we need to hear a human voice say they care. Sometimes we need to feel a human touch, to see a human tear, to connect with somebody who is at least trying to understand how we feel.

    Hear me. I love you both. I pray God will reveal His beauty and glory through Z's life and through yours. I pray He'll provide for all both of you need physically, emotionally, & spiritually.

    I pray He'll drench you with blessings.

    Love you,

  6. Thank you Jean, I love you and your family also and I know that you love us and are always right there.


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