I have been off on another self indulging tangent I suppose. Busy with other things, working on other things and traveling through time in my mind and my heart while spreading my wings in other areas.
I felt a need to step back, examine myself, work on my spiritual nature and other things in my life. Like my relationship with my mother, my social conscience, my lack of sharing what knowledge I do have with others and all in all just "a better me for God's use".
No matter where I go and what I do I keep coming back to the photography and writing which I love so dearly. I love everything about words and photos and how they reflect images. I have started a group with other ladies about Photographic Art and Writing. About using our small talents together to create one large effort and share with others.
I have self analyzed (Oh my!) myself almost to bits and pieces and realize with the help of God that it's simply time to start putting the pieces back together again, in a different pattern this time.
I not to long ago loved meeting all of the less fortunate people in my town, talking with them and sharing their stories and some how I got away from that, I want to go back.
I want to share with you only a few of the people I have met in the last few months who have been each, a blessing to have seen, or spoken with. People who walk a different life from you, who live a different life style and who share a different story.
I love the golden hour, and more than that I now love the people I meet in that hour of the day. People who seem to crawl out of the wood work as you walk the streets of your down town area. As the sun rises they simply appear from nowhere and are again visible. They come from their cardboard boxes, from under bushes and from within the walls it seems. They suddenly cease to be "invisible" as they stretch, opening their eyes and turning their bodies to flex and move their muscles in order to begin another day of seemingly endless walking.As the sun rises, suddenly the streets are alive again, they just appear.
They must walk about, they must not be stationary on a park bench or a step or in the crevice between walls they had drawn into to hide their selves searching for a safe nights sleep.
They in almost a rhythmic pattern begin all at once to crawl out, like ants suddenly emerging from a hill all marching out at the same time. Too many I know see that as a terrible site but I see it like music. With a rhythm and pattern and beat, it's like art to me.
It touches my heart and tears up my eyes because I meet these people and with what would be surprising to most, they don't ask for food or money, they ask "What day is this?" or "Do you need any help lady?". They usually mention God and say "Have a blessed day Lady" or "God loves you Lady".
I guess getting down to only the barest of necessities in life has a way of bringing you to your knees and putting things in perspective. I believe that's what's happening in the United States today, it's not about the politician's or the economy choices or who made them. It's about the people in our world having gone as far as we can go in removing God from our lives and Him saying "Enough, I will bring you all to your knees, you won't listen, I'll make you"
Maybe these people who are so detested and looked down upon, maybe they got there first as we simply haven't fallen that far "yet".
The one young man in the second picture (first set) I have met a number of times, we have had conversations and I have watched as he quietly disappears and reappears with the sunset and sunrise. He is always kind and gentle. This picture I used is him at the pond where he loves to go early before all of the busy people begin their day and he throws bread (that he could eat himself) into the pond slowly as he gazes and watches each little fish come up to take a nibble. He points out to me where the fish are and he draws me to areas where they gather so I may enjoy them too. He knows my name but he won't give his. I call him Michael and he smiles.
I always say something like "I'm going to take pictures here, do you mind if you are in some of them?" and surprisingly they love having their picture taken and then viewing them on my camera. I'm careful about not approaching unless they want me to. I'm always considerate about where I point the lens of my camera and I'm never judgmental.
It's still strange to me how something can be so beautiful and artistic and sad also, but it all is. They touch my heart each time I walk about. This Sunday morning at 6:00am I was downtown walking about with my camera when I saw Michael and he saw me, he asked "Is this Sunday, is it God's day today?" Yes it is Michael, I replied and he then walked a bit away, threw more bread and gazed at the fish as he sat on a rock nearby.
Not all homeless people are bums, drug addicts, alcoholics or schizophrenic, not at all. Many are people who have had no success in coping with life for a variety of reasons, some have lost everything and are trying to start again. Many just can't face the depression they feel daily. By no standards can they all be lumped into one group and detested, not if you have love in your heart. It's easy to not see them, they choose to be invisible. Many feel the same embarrassment and humiliation that you would were you put into that position.
I'm not writing about the sadness or suggesting you each run down town and take a blanket, I'm suggesting that we each look at ourselves in the mirror and see what God sees, that's what I'm saying.
If God has to bring this entire nation completely to it's knees, because any of us refuse to bend ourselves, will you still remember which is God's day without a pretty calendar in front of you? "I'm just saying!"