Wednesday, September 8, 2010

He Waits

A special "Praise the Lord" today.

My dear friend M who lost his wife a year and a half ago has been going through the trauma and mourning along with the other complications he created at the loss of his dear J.

He has been unable to go a week without sitting at the cemetery, needing to speak with her and unable to make it through daily functions without her.

After about 18 months of depression, therapy, probation, loneliness, anger and all that stuff he has passed a hurdle. A long time ago he started talking with me about his feelings and, sneaky little bugger that I am, I began to slip the G word into our conversations. Thank You Father for setting up those opportunities!

About 6 months ago he started going back to church and has come home talking about many things he heard that day and remembering from his childhood, those morals and values that his parents did instill in him through the Word of God.

Each Sunday he rides to church with his niece and afterward she takes him to the cemetery. But, last Sunday M told me he was too tired to go to church, he was just so worn out feeling that he couldn't make it, he was going to watch a service on TV. Afterward, he also decided he couldn't make it to the cemetery. Doesn't sound like much but, for him it was a huge "guilt" ridden decision and he made it - he didn't go. This was the first Sunday since her passing that he didn't. He was amazed as we talked the next day and he realized that he was OK, that the world didn't come to an end because he didn't go.

Well, (it gets even better) Monday was labor day. He hasn't been able to face some things that were a part of his routine life with J like, grilling out. They did that all the time, it was her favorite thing. He would grill, she would cook and they would sit out together on their deck and have wonderful dinners together. He came to see me Monday afternoon (with BBQ sauce on his face) and he said, "You are going to be so proud of me", I said "I think I see why, it's all over your face". We laughed and he said "I walked out the door, through the charcoal in, lit it up and went for it". "These rib's are great and I did it, I lit that grill and I did it".

I told him I was so proud of him for making the decision he made Sunday and for today but mostly I felt relief for him. And I told him what he was feeling was more like "release" than pride and through God it is all so possible.

He feels like he has been released to live again, sounds so silly but he was in such devastation after her sudden death. God may work slow, He may work in painful and devastating ways but be sure He is working...He doesn't forget a single one of us or a single, tiny detail.

He "waits" real good. Thank You Lord, Amen


  1. What a wonderful story about your friend. It got me to thinking that maybe, just maybe, God took so long with your friend because he knew that you would be there to take good care of him until he finished up with more pressing matters :) I think M is very lucky to have you as a friend

  2. I can so appreciate those "baby steps" in the grieving process. They are scary. But what courage and (as you said) release comes with each little step.

    Congratulations to your friend. He's now moving in the right directon.


  3. Sometimes God has to remove our crutches so we can discover we can walk. He kicks us out of downy nests so we can fly. I'm glad He found his wings!


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