I've been thinking again and I always find myself in trouble when I do. I think that I fixate on things Lord even obsessively. Now what is wrong with me that I don't fixate on the right things instead of the trivial?
I get started with editing and go all crazy, I start photography and get all crazy. I begin a class in something and it's the only thing that is on my mind until I complete it. I have discovered for that one project it's a good thing but, it does not leave me well rounded or balanced.
I need to stay focused and committed to the things that you want for me and I just keep leaping. What's that old saying "jack of all trades and master of none" unfortunately that is me.
I think it goes back to my insatiable curiosity, even as a child I had to look in every crack and cranny, to turn every rock and leaf and see all aspects of everything and my goodness, if a sign said "do not enter" that was an invitation to me. Here I am almost 60 and still can't stop looking, and still turning those rocks!
So what good am I to You? I've tried to reason this out with: I'm still learning, I'm gathering knowledge and growing wisdom, I'm a true adventurer - but really what purpose does any of this serve. I only know how much it pleases me to see every detail of each thing you have created. That it pleases me to have all of these tid-bits of knowledge and that it satisfies something inside of me and gives me peace. I get a look at You through different eyes than a lot of people.
I see you with every (without exception) sunrise and sunset. I see you in every magnificent tree and tiny blade of grass that I do have to examine. I see You in the people in my life, the children and grandchildren I have been blessed with. I just walk around all day every day seeing You in everything and I ask again, what good am I to You?
I truly don't know, so I'm praying that You are going to enlighten me. I'm wondering how long I have to wait for that thump and lightning bolt to hit me or maybe this time I will hear you without all of that.
(Of course we both know I will probably be busy looking at something else, don't we!)
Oh I think we are so alike in so many ways. So what good am I to Him :) I think our purpose is to discover all His wonders so that we can point them out to those who can not see them :)
ReplyDeleteIsn't God like that, too? His eye watches every sparrow. He designed each variety of grass to have it's own special blade. He created humans with infinite variations.
ReplyDeleteI think He notices every tiny detail, too.
What is your purpose? To love God and to glorify Him with the life you live.
Can unbridled curiosity do that? I think so.
Love you,
Jean