...eight, ten years ago I can distinctly remember knowing that I needed everything, and for all things to change but I didn't know where or how to start.
You laid it on my heart Father that my life had to be different, you didn't tell me that You had a plan for me and I was to ignorant about You Word to know that. I wandered around in my "other life" and when I gave it to You and had the desire to become Yours, I wandered around there too. I truly am a gypsy!
I think I was expecting an earth quake inside me and instantly, life was different and better. I can laugh at that now because You have through these last ten years taught me what "tiny steps" are. I am so much more comfortable and less hectic inside knowing that along with Your plan was the plan for me to learn those tiny steps and how You whisper Lord.
I know You can scream at me when You have to, when I force You or You can thump me on the noggin occasionally to get my attention. But Your way is to whisper and me listen, Your way is to move at a slow, steady pace learning each step.
That earthquake never happened and I learned over time that it was part of Your doing to move me along slowly giving me time to listen, absorb, process and wait for You to have me ready then react. I thought at first that I was moving to slowly and You would be displeased, I thought silly things like "what if I die tomorrow and I didn't finish getting it?"
I know differently now, You have shown me Your patience time and time again. You have shown me Your love repeatedly, daily. Lord, if anything - I was moving to fast and not getting it all! You have slowed me down, opened the ears to my heart, taught me to listen with my mouth shut and You have taught me how to wait.
So many times You have reached down and touched me, I could feel You as You said "stop" let's start again, together this time. I've felt Your sense of humor again and again (I'm always good for a laugh) and I can feel when You are smiling and laughing at me. I can hear You so differently now than ten years ago.
I got an old car recently a 1988 which I am so grateful for (it's actually my mothers) but there was a problem with the defroster IT FILLED, MUCKED AND MOISTENED the windows instead of clearing them, I was driving with a rag and constantly having to wipe the windows as I drove. I felt very unsafe and myself or the man who looked at it couldn't figure out the problem. It's winter here in Florida it was 32, 28, 26 degrees the first of the week days.
I told You Lord, as I sat in this car Tuesday morning at 26 degrees, windows nothing but ice and thought how am I going to get these 3 people to work like You told me to do? Then I prayed "Lord I will not get upset, I promise, I will trust Y0u. You sent people here for me to help just like I prayed and asked you to do. I have a fourth person You sent for me to help with car also now, You sent them to me You trusted me - You have to help me. This crazy defroster is making it impossible for me to drive at 4:00 and 5:00 am, I can't see. We are cold and we need the heat, I can't fix it, my friend can't, I don't have money to just put it in a shop and say FIX IT, so I'm giving it to You. Give me what I need to help Your children, I trust You. Amen"
The defroster stopped blowing out muck and moisture and is working perfectly. Yep one of the people I am taking to work asked me "uh! I just realized I can see, it works, what happened?" You gave me the opportunity to say "The Lord fixed it, I told Him that YOU needed Him and He heard me He loves you! It's just fixed!", and we're warm.
Tiny steps, that's Your plan for me. Tiny steps getting to where You could use me and tiny steps of opportunities to share Your name with others. See I don't think it was really about the car I think God planned an opportunity for me to tell this person that He loves them. He just had to wait on me (again) to give it up and let HIM DO IT.
"Tiny Steps" I love it! I am Your child and You love me. Keep driving me and teaching me Jesus to do it Your way, keep opening a path for opportunities to be used by You for others. AMEN
Please pray for V and M who were homeless and need to know about the grace of God. For J who is riding to work also and my dear friend R who is in need of work to pay her rent and electric and provide for her two boys. They are all out there and trying so hard and helping them is God's opportunity for me to share Him - they need Him in their lives they need your prayers.-I need your prayers.