...and I feel like I'm falling!
If I sound like Alice in Wonderland - how fitting because I feel like Alice right now (LOL)!
I'm just not doing a good job of resetting my whole life Lord, I'm sorry. I know that You gave me the brains and know-how and I am not providing the drive somehow. Are You telling me and I'm just not listening? Like that's never happened before, huh Lord.
Z and I had found ourselves a nitch, everything was going smoothly and I was really enjoying that - maybe I got to comfy and you needed to shake me up. OK consider me shaken, now can I settle back down yet? I know You are laughing at me right now thinking "that crazy girl"
Yes friends I'm getting up REALLY early which means I can't stay up late (which I like) which means I can't get to sleep from habit which means I can't go to sleep anyway so I'm still up late and still getting up at 4-5 in the morning. I use to write my blog at 11:00 pm on S-T-T, in silence, my alone time - not anymore! I use to sleep a little late, that was Z's alone time - not anymore! We are getting tired, irritable and on each other's nerves and here I am trying to fix it and it only gets worse. Phew! glad that's said and done.
Now it's time to take my very own special advise and "let goooooooo" and let You fix it.
Yes I hear You Jesus, change my writing time. OK I am going to set aside 7-9 (a window)pm to be alone and write, make arrangements for Z to go spend that time with his mom and leave me alone. That will be my and Your time together. And I don't have to write on m-w-f that's just my OCB taking over isn't it? Check!
My shows come on at 8 and 9 pm, oh yeah I can tape those and watch the next day - I don't watch tv in the daytime anyway.
Now I need to work on a nap time and that's the hardest. Sometimes Magg gets off at 12, 2, 4 or 6 that's what's really rough on me but she's working. Somehow Lord I need to be more grateful she is working than concerned that I am tired. I need to be selfless and yes I need You for that. Open up my heart to that and give me the physical strength to help her and Val with whatever they need because Y0u are already giving me opportunities to show You to them.
Maggie even asks the blessing at dinner (we eat together) which is something I haven't heard her do since she was a child. I say it and Z says it and Thank You Lord she is taking her turn to. It's the simple "God is Great, God is Good..." but she says it out loud. You Father are Wonderful.
OK, no more whining, set a schedule as best I can (don't break down if I can't follow exactly) and let You carry me, Got it!
Signing out Lord,