Friday, February 13, 2009

My Next Oldest Sister, Jean

  • Jean, how do I tell you how much I love you, hm!

    As children we were 4 completely different kids, and Jean was the "good one", She began early in life living her life for God and making sound choices which made her pretty boring (LOL). She wasn't a "rounder" like me, lucky for her.

    I will say that she was a bit "snooty", very correct all the time, yeah I've talked about her nose in the air before. As children I didn't in any way appreciate that. I was to busy getting into trouble all the time. Tiny, put that down, don't touch that, don't go there, don't do that, I thought "don't" was my middle name.

    There were many years when there was a rift between us all and it took many years still for us girls to realize that the rift was put there by our parents and none of us were at fault for it. CC was called "pudgie" - yeah! Judy was "special" and me, they called me "rooster" now isn't that a swell name for a little girl! But Jean, Jean was there "China Doll". I resented that but she didn't do it, they did.

    The truth is she did behave better than me, and did devote herself in a focused manor and I didn't. She had goals and expectations, I didn't.

    In all the years that I meandered through life, accomplishing nothing for myself or God she was still living the Christian life and letting God lead her and give to her and use her. She was learning to listen, the hardest thing I have ever had to learn.

    She is a strong, educated, wise and loving person who I never gave a chance to love me. She was learning and growing with God in a faithful manor.

    She had two boys and a girl, three wonderful kids. I was closer to one than the others and felt something special for him. Not because he was any better than her other two, just because I spent more time with him and new him better. Jean and J lived through the most tragic of circumstances when they lost Steven to death. I can not in my mind imagine living through that, I truly can't. I know the loss I felt for him and hers must be multiplied by that thousands of times. I love Steven and I love you Jean, I respect your life and feel so much compassion toward you. Your strength amazes me!

    About 10 years ago when I received my daughters two children to raise God really started working on me and leading me to live a different life. To raise these boys in a different way. I didn't know what was going on just that everything felt wrong. You know, I know without any doubt that my Lord is my Rock but the climb to that point felt impossible, very difficult and I wasn't prepared. The Lord is my Rock but the life-line He through me to climb up on was my sister Jean.

    She was there guiding me every step. Late night calls, any time calls, crying almost endlessly, questions, prayers, she fed me scripture to study -- Lord You helped me so much through her. I know the Lord was ready to use her but she had to be willing to be used and Praise Jesus she was. Nothing was to bothersome for her at any time or to any degree because she is my next big sister and she loved me.

    She went through years of me agonizing, crying, complaining, not understanding and she never faultered.

    My sister Jean's life has been a testiment for God about faith, endurance, healing, focus and yes LOVE. My sister Jean is love.

    Thank You Lord for this sister who You gave me to help You shelter and teach and keep me. Amen Father

    I love you Jean!!!!


  1. I don't know how to respond. I'm left speechless by your beautiful, tender words. [Bet you never thought you'd see me speechless!]

    No one has ever, will ever, give me a more beautiful gift than these words, Miawa.

    God is definitely using YOU to enlarge my heart, to open my eyes, to see the huge potential He sees in people, to see them with love and compassion instead of judgment, to simply love people well the way He loves them with no expectations imposed on them.

    The way you love.

    I don't have the words to express how much I love you and all you mean to me.



to leave comment